Swaggernauts! I just discovered something amazing! I can’t just tell you what it is though, I have to set the stage.
This past weekend I took an expedition out to the desert. As expected, my throat was quickly parched and I needed something to quickly quench my thirst. I found the nearest commissary and to my delight everything was 99 cents! What a world we live in! I found the water and proceeded to the store’s proprietor. Along that short walk something caught my eye. They looked familiar but something was palpably different. They were Belly Flops.
What are Belly Flops? Belly Flops are irregular jelly beans in peculiar shapes, sizes, and colors. I haven’t eaten them yet so I can’t speak to their taste
But more importantly!
GUYS! WE HAVE ALL BEEN OVERPAYING FOR JELLY BEANS WHEN WE COULD HAVE BEEN EATING IRREGULAR JELLY BEANS FOR HALF THE PRICE!
This got me thinking though, Jelly Belly has found a way to market their reject jelly beans but do other companies do the same thing. That my friends, is your Swaganigans challenge for this week:
- Choose any item. It can be anything from food, cars, electronics, etc. Seriously anything.
- Think of how that item could be defective.
- Name the defective product and name it in such a way that you could now market it to the public.
- Make it funny or make it punny, just make sure to use your humorous cleverness and intellectual horsepower.
Here’s an example if you’re having trouble: Imagine if Kleenex had to throw away a certain percentage of the tissue boxes because of bacterial or viral contamination. Kleenex would then sell those rejected tissues in boxes called Tissue Pox.
Get it? Using this example your entry would look like this:
Contaminated Kleenex Tissue Box becomes Kleenex Tissue Pox
All this talk of jelly beans is making me hungry. Right now if you order Jelly Belly jelly beans through Swagbucks you can earn 4 SB per $1 you spend. I bet they have some of those irregular jelly beans too. Tell them the Swaggodore sent ya!
First time here? Have no idea what’s going on. Don’t worry. This post will answer all your questions.
Prizes
Grand Prize gets 2500 SB. Second Place gets 1500 SB. Other runners up get 1000 SB. Honorable mentions, if any, will receive 10 SB. Any members that gets posted are immediately entered into the select group club of “Swagglers” all of whom are competing for the coveted Swaggler of the Year (i.e the member who gets posted the most). I hope the evilscotsman is keeping track?
Guidelines
Winners will be selected on the basis of humor, wit, wisdom, cleverness and originality. Write your entries in the comments below. 11 entries max. Please include your Swagname, city & state at the end of each entry. Entries must be posted on or before Sunday, March, 20th at 11:59pm (in whatever time zone you happen to be in). Judges reserve the right to alter entries for taste, humor or appropriateness. No purchase necessary. Employees of Prodege LLC and members of their immediate families are not eligible for prizes. All gift card prizes are paid out in SB points. To get SB points you must be a member of Swagbucks. If you are not yet a member of Swagbucks that’s ok, no one is perfect. But you can redeem yourself by joining here.
For information on Swaganigans rules and ultimate purpose click here.
Now it’s time to hand things over to the esteemed Prof Jockey to round up last week’s footnotes.
LAST WEEK’S WINNERS
Last week we asked you for footnotes:
Second Place Winner of 1650 SB
The survey took me only 12 minutes to complete and I earned 75 SB from it.* *At 6.25 SB /minute, it extrapolates out over a 5-day workweek to 60,000 SB/month. Wanting more good fortune, I searched 6.25, and was directed to Matthew 6:25, “Don’t worry what you will eat or drink; isn’t life more than food?” Now hungry, I went to the kitchen for inspiration. It said not to worry about what to eat, so how would I choose? Wait, I’m Jewish! I don’t read Matthew. I opened the Hebrew Bible to and found…there is no Genesis 6:25! But I love the band, Genesis. I went to their 6th album, 25th track. Ridiculous. What album has 25 tracks? This one. A double album with a total of…24 tracks. Had my instincts been wrong? No. The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway is not only a Genesis album, but also the title track. Taking 6.25 as 60 + 25, one finds at the 85-second mark the word “steam”, followed by “and the lamb”. I have lamb. I have steam. I need a recipe. Searching “steamed lamb” I earned 6 SB and a collector’s egg. And tons of recipes for steamed lamb. Good fortune, indeed! Having won 75 SB at a rate of 6.25/minute, I had won another 6 SB and it only took 75 minutes! That’s 8 cents/minute. Where can I get an 8 cent lunch? Hello, Ramen. (BooBBear, Carmel, IN)
Grand Prize Winner of 2750 SB
I picked up my laptop when I woke up and performed a Swagbucks search, and alas, I got a 12 SB search win.* *Sure, you laugh about it now, but you’re not the one stuck with the post-hypnotic suggestion to become a chicken whenever you see the number 12 bok bok bokbok bok! Bok bok bok bok bgok! (Editor: You get the idea. We had to remove 12 pages of this from the actual manuscript, and only left the first line in from the footnotes for the sake of brevity.) (trevortni1522736)
Runners Up (1100 SB each)
I got a Swag Code Alert push notification on my iPhone so I opened my Swagbucks Mobile App and entered it to earn 4 SB.* *As with all things, if you push hard enough, sometimes you get what you want. Or the door will open. Or someone will push back, you will fall down and break a hip. It’s all relative. Like my aunt…she’s a relative. Did she break a hip? I don’t remember now, but boy, could she make a mean beef stew. I loved her stew. (wimmr, New York, NY)
I got a Swag Code Alert push notification on my iPhone so I opened my Swagbucks Mobile App and entered it to earn 4 SB.* *And by iPhone I mean Nokia. And by app I mean Snake. And by Swagbucks I mean Points. (kinneaskink)
I picked up my laptop when I woke up and performed a Swagbucks search, and alas, I got a 12 SB search win.* *Twas morning when I performed a swagbucks search upon my computer concerning the common nature of water buffalo, and why we all have them, when suddenly due to the occurence of a wonderful event in my life, my mind was whisked away to another plane of focus in which a twelve sb search win was my only concern. I entered in the three letter sequence required that it may be known I am not a robot, but alas, I was unable to type in the code correctly because I AM a robot and thus these twelve cents of digital glory were forever placed out of my reach. forever. 🙁 (SgtSarcastic, Dawsonville, GA)
Honorable Mentions (11 SB each)
I picked up my laptop when I woke up and performed a Swagbucks search, and alas, I got a 12 SB search win.* *Well…. I claim it was me because I got the credit for the search win but in actuality it was my husband who continuously types “f” in the URL line to head to Facebook — and since my browser is defaulted to Swagbucks Search, he routinely wins SBs for me. Just for typing F and not even meaning to “win” anything! I mean, I spend just HOURS searching everything I can think of from pictures of Pugs to that recipe for the chicken casserole that I can never memorize and I never earn a thing! And then THAT GUY has the nerve to tell me that he has contributed to my Swagbucks earnings so he demands a gift card for his personal use instead of the usual stuff I spend them on. I mean, usually I buy birthday gifts with them and h-e-l-l-o that includes his too so he IS technically getting the benefit. I would refer him to create his own account but he says he isn’t that dedicated so may please I ask WHY this is suddenly my fault? (TRUE STORY) (Blu3yez, North Salt Lake, UT)
I checked out the Swagbucks Watch Channel and earned 50 SB from watching videos yesterday.* *I really was only going to find a great recipe for supper. The kids were starved and my husband was cranky. I found a wonderful chicken soup recipe – oops, don’t have chicken broth. A great lasagna recipe – Hubby’s not in the mood for that. Fantastic hamburger casserole – kids started throwing fits as soon as I mentioned the word casserole. Up to 47 Swagubucks now, no recipe yet. Resorted to going to MyGiftCardsPlus, ordering a Papa John’s gift card, got in a half hour, and ordered pizza. I watched several videos on meditation and deep breathing to calm myself down, and made 50 Swagbucks! AND I didn’t have to cook. Well, all’s well that ends well. (mouseofthehouse, Lincoln, NE)
I got a Swag Code Alert push notification on my iPhone so I opened my Swagbucks Mobile App and entered it to earn 4 SB.* *Hiding in my closet I was being robbed. I reached for my iPhone to quietly dial 911. Opening my phone I realized, “LO! OMG! There’s a Swag Code available!” Yeah, those thieves may have gotten away with my television, and my laptop, and my cabbage patch doll collection, but at least I got my Swag Code : ) (LXAN, Kansas City, MO)
The survey took me only 12 minutes to complete and I earned 75 SB from it.* *My analytical mind takes over… “only” 12 minutes? 75SB = 75¢. 12 fits into 60, 5 times. 5 times 75¢ = $3.75. Am I only worth $3.75 an hour? Couldn’t I go get a part time job and get a little more than this? That is the message I tell my wife when I find her glued to her laptop screen. “There are better ways to make more money” I tell her… That’s logical right? Yet, I just found myself using up the same 12 minutes she did. So how do I reason away MY participation in something I’ve said was a waste of her time??? Oh yeah… so, $3.75 an hour is definitely below minimum wage but, how many jobs out there are going to pay me to sit and answer questions? Not to mention, I’m a stay at home dad with kids to take care of. If I did a little more math… factored in how much money I’d make at a part time job and then how much childcare cost… Suddenly, 75¢ for 12 minutes of my time sounds pretty good. Now what was that question? And what do you mean I’m not qualified (millipede1977, Siloam Springs, AR)
The first thing I did when I got to work was sit down at my desk, log into Swagbucks, and performed a Swagbucks search. I got a 8 SB search win.* *NOTE: Little did anyone at work know that was I actually searched for was “where to buy electronic fart machine for office.” Thankfully I was the first one to get to work out of my cubicle mates. I contemplated using Incognito Mode to hide my identity, but was feeling brave today as I ate my Wheaties, put on my big girl pants, took a big inhale, and as I exhaled I entered this search into Swagbucks search bar. I’M GLAD I DID! WOW! Who knew Swagbucks would approve my search, and better yet, reward me for it! 8 SB! Yeah!!! I’m feeling more confident than ever before. I’m seriously considering what other “decor” I should purchase for the office…I will feel much better knowing that Swagbucks has my back on this one. (Hilgrav)
IN CONCLUSION
Follow @Swaggodore and @ProfessorJockey on Twitter and tweet at them. We’re not paying them to sit around and do nothing. In fact, we don’t pay them at all! Now go challenge yourself!
-Professor Jockey and his horse Correct Answer
-Lady Elocin de Vieux Carre
– The Swaggodore
